Mediocrity and Perfectionism: Pursuing a Better Way

I believe mediocrity is a temptation for all humans. Years of coaching tweens and teens have shown me that this is especially for tweens and teens. In the middle school years, students may not even realize that mediocrity is such a strong temptation. They also may not realize the opposite extreme of mediocrity: perfectionism. It is critically important for parents, mentors, teachers, and coaches of middle schoolers to not only be aware of the lure of mediocrity and the pitfalls of perfectionism, but to be able to guide students to find the healthy balance somewhere in between them. That somewhere in between is excellence.

Excellence is a hallmark of every successful individual, business, and team. I am convinced that pursuing excellence is an essential life skill. It is not something that is necessarily innate or comes naturally to us; it is a skill that must be cultivated intentionally over time, no matter what the goal or endeavor for which we want to be excellent. 

I believe that if we have a firm grasp of the meaning, measure, and motivation of pursuing excellence, we can better protect ourselves and our children from the pitfalls of mediocrity and perfectionism. 

The Meaning of Excellence 

Though the dictionary defines excellence using words like superior, outstanding, and greatness, I believe these words offer little in the way of establishing a functional meaning of the word in everyday life. For my own life and the student-athletes with whom I work, I define excellence using the acronym A.C.E. This acronym stands for the following...

Attitude

One's attitude is a core component of the pursuit of excellence. Attitude is ultimately a matter of the heart. If one's heart is not fully "in" whatever they are pursuing, I do not believe that is truly pursuing excellence.

Concentration

Pursuing excellence requires concentration and focus. These elements are matters of the mind. A lack of concentration typically leads to distraction, often resulting in errors being made in one way or another (on the field, in a specific work role, etc.). 

Effort 

A third key ingredient in defining the pursuit of excellence is effort. For athletes, this is most clearly seen in how they apply their bodies to a physical task. Any endeavor that lacks whole-hearted effort will likely also lack excellence.

The following scenarios are common examples of how this tri-layered definition of excellence plays out in real life...

• A young person may be a very talented athlete with obviously "natural" ability. They put forth a great deal of concentration in practices and games, and they exert a great deal of effort physically. But this player's attitude does not match their concentration and effort. They are disrespectful to coaches, exhibit disregard for team play, have negative interactions with their teammates, and do not conduct themselves in a healthy manner with opposing teams and officials. They may lead their team to a winning season or even  tournament wins, yet their apparent lack of a healthy attitude cripples them from a true pursuit of excellence. 
• Another young person may be a bright student, gifted in academics and possessing a natural ability to learn, retain information, and perform well in school. They are engaged in class time (concentration) and have positive rapport with teachers and peers (attitude), but they do little to no work outside of the classroom. They spend a minimal amount of time studying and completing assignments with as little effort as possible. Their natural ability may earn them As in most cases, but they are not necessarily pursuing excellence. 

These scenarios point us to considering what a true or accurate measure of excellence is. 

The Measure of Excellence 

There are many ways people measure excellence: a scoreboard, a test score, a job title, a salary, or recognition by others. These measures of excellence fall short in that performance is the key indicator of success. A team may dominate in a game, but that does not mean they prepared and played with excellence. A student may maintain a 4.0 GPA, but that does not necessarily mean that they demonstrate excellence in their study habits, willingness to challenge themselves, etc. 

Measuring the pursuit of excellence is a subjective endeavor, not an objective one. Neither a scoreboard nor a salary are measures of attitude, concentration, and effort. Ultimately, these three components of excellence are highly individual.

One of the most famous athletic coaches of all time, John Wooden, spent many years contemplating and studying success (which I believe is in many ways synonymous with excellence). He is credited with the words, "Success is peace of mind obtained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you're capable." Rather than measuring excellence by performance or accomplishment, we can measure it according to the peace of mind we have knowing that we have put forth our best attitude, concentration, and effort. 

The Motivation for Excellence 

How we define and measure the pursuit of excellence is directly connected to our motivation. I have witnessed and experienced the motivation to please coaches, win championships, make money, or achieve celebrity status. For teens, some of the biggest motivators for many are pleasing parents, satisfying parents' expectations, or avoiding punishment from parents as a result of failure in some capacity. Because these are all extrinsic motivators, they will ultimately fail to be a powerful enough driving force. 

It is my conviction that the healthiest motivation stems from a desire to please God. The words of Colossians 3:17 come to mind as we consider a Christ-centered reason to pursue excellence, "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." 

Protecting Relationship

No conversation about how parents can healthily challenge their teens to pursue excellence would be complete without talking about the need for balance and encouragement. It is so easy to focus on our teens' shortcomings or air our frustrations with them. We may not even realize how deeply impactful our communications--verbal or non-verbal--are to them. Proactively seeking ways to build up our kids can have a profound effect on them. Encouragement is essential for protecting our relationships with our teens.