“I’m not smart.”

“I’m not good at math.”

“I wish I could play the piano like her.”

“I’ll never play soccer as well as him.”

“I hate the way my hair looks.”

“I need to lose weight so I can look like her.”

“He’s more popular than I’ll ever be because his parents are rich.”

I have heard phrases like these from my students countless times over the last 20 years of teaching middle schoolers. All of them are indicators of self-concept. 

So much of our lives and society is compartmentalized and segmented. It’s easy to think, “Worship happens at church; pastors are responsible for biblical teaching and discipleship. Learning about the world happens at school; teachers are responsible for disseminating knowledge. Experiencing relationships happens at home and with friends; parents are responsible for teaching their children about love, grace, and forgiveness.” While these assumptions and responsibilities are in part correct, they do not fully represent how Scripture prescribes our lives.

Now that our youngest daughter has gone off to college and left my wife and me as (mostly) empty-nesters, I sometimes wonder whether we provided our daughters with the parenting they will need to be spiritually healthy as young adults. I suppose most Christian parents engage in this thought process at some point. And, of course, like most parents, I look back and think of a thousand things I would do differently if I could go back in time given what I now know.